No Christmas Dinner For Grandma

"Free Christmas Day Dinner," the notice said. Noon to 2 PM on Dec 25, at the First Congregational Church, downtown. I actually considered going. My oven isn't working, and I can't cook big holiday meals at home. Why not? Do something besides hide out and watch football on Christmas Day. 

Then, in this morning's paper,  I see this:

Per the story, a free Christmas dinner has been served somewhere in downtown Port Huron for the last 33 years. This year's is the first planned by The Center Of Port Huron and, for the first time in 33 years, homebound residents won't be able to have the food delivered to them. 

The Center is a collection of local do-gooders, church ladies, and cat ladies whose Facebook page indicates its mission is to "passionately serve to build community through providing outreach to others and to appeal to other non-profits for collaboration" (the same doublespeak every charity uses when it tried to convince you how vital a service it provides).

The organization's president, Diane Slingerland, states in the story that she "has all the volunteers (she) needs." The writer in fact repeats, near the story's end, that the Center doesn't need any more volunteers. The story screams at the reader, DON'T call and offer to help, they DON'T NEED YOU.

Well, actually, the Center doesn't have all the volunteers it needs, if it can't manage to deliver a hot Christmas dinner to some poor old lady who, for whatever reason, can't leave home. (Sorry, Gran, you'll just have to eat tuna fish sandwiches, we are unable to, etc etc . . . ) 

What a bunch of useless unprintables. As useless as that worthless Salvation Army, and we've already found out how helpful they can be in a time of need. But I'm sure Ms. Slingerland and her fellow Good People congratulate themselves each day for being part of something that makes Port Huron a much better place than it would be without them. They sleep well at night, too, I'll bet. Too bad they don't write down how they do it, and turn it into a self-help book. They're sitting on a great cure for insomnia.

Jesus fucking Christ. (It's okay, this IS the season.) 

Before I stretch the Center's apparently thin resources even thinner, and go to town and deal witht the cat ladies on Christmas Day, I'll  stay home and eat tuna fish sandwiches and watch football. 

Merry fucking Christmas.

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