Maybe This

We could change our names. 

I could become "Negative Nancy." "Anne Ominous" is probably way over everyone's head anyway. Pete could become "Positive Pete." That way, we'd maintain the attraction. Or he could become "Pissed-Off Pete" and have his own anagram, POP, that would save us a little space in our posts.

I ran this past him, and he pointed out that POP is already an anagram, for Post Office Protocol. And he likes Pete Moss. When we go shopping and get separated, I always know where to find him: in the garden center. And I like Anne Ominous too much to give it up.

So much for that idea. When we add another contributor -- a third field reporter -- she can be Negative Nancy. 

Pete also said that maybe we should change the title, that "We Hate Port Huron Michigan" sounds too much like "We Ate Port Huron Michigan," and we don't want to do that, at least not without a pitcher of Bromo-Seltzer at the ready.  Okay, I said; find a new title that effectively states what we're all about, that even folks from Croswell can understand on first read, and we'll change it.

Meanwhile, Pete did find a new way to get rid of people, like bottle room dorks who already act as retarded as they look, who try to start conversations with us while they're supposed to be working.  "How . . . are . . . yoooou . . . toooday . . . ?" Start coughing, and then tell them that we just came home from China, and that we're still a little jet-lagged and don't really feel good . . . It helps if one (hopefully both) of us can work a real-time sneeze into the mix. This emptied the bottle room at the Fort Gratiot Township Walmart this afternoon.  Before we knew what was happening, Bottle Boy and the dumb broad who'd already asked us "are you waiting for the buuuuus?" were out the door. We had the place to ourselves and didn't have to tell anyone how our day was going. 

The bottle guy was probably a management spy anyway, like the little Japanese, or Hawaiian, whatever the fuck he is,  Oriental creep who works the bottle room at the FGT Meijers (next to Walmart). If you work there or have ever worked there and gotten in trouble with the boss over something you shared in the break room, Hawaii 5-0 was probably listening. 

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