How To Make Friends In Port Huron

Deb Johnson, the executive director of St. Clair County Community Mental Health, has written an op-ed piece for the Times-Herald.  Its subject is the importance, from a mental health POV, of having friends and making new ones. 

You'll have to read it in Private or Incognito mode, to bypass the paywall the Harold places between You The Reader and the practical wisdom it dispenses. 

Like the Reverend Johnson's previous contributions, it's a well-thought out, well-crafted sermonette. She makes some wise observations. Without a support network of friends, one's mental health can suffer. Without friends, one can develop a low self-opinion. 

She doesn't mention that, if you're a regular reader of the Harold, you probably don't have any friends in the first place, and it's unlikely you'll ever make any new ones. 

But whatever . . . for readers who are still with her at the bottom of the page, she offers some suggestions.  

"Someone has to make the first move," she writes. "So invite your funny coworker out for lunch or send an email to a friend on social media who (as printed, actually, it should be "whom") you would like to get to know better in real life." 

Try either, and you're just asking for trouble, unless you don't mind letting office politics negatively affect your work performance, or unless you won't mind finding out that your social media friend has a collection of worn pantyhose he's bought from women on Craigslist but really, really, enjoys a man's company. 

Then come the old reliables.  Take night classes, join a real-time activity group, go to events, speeches, seminars, volunteer to help with whatever. And, if invited to attend something, go. "You never know where you will meet that person you really click with." 

She's right, and we gave it a lot of thought. You never do know who might be out there, who might share a mutual interest or two and become part of the solution to mental health issues caused by not getting out often enough. 

However: after our encounters with what Dirtville  has to offer -- the likes of Kroger Girl, Staples Girl, Aldi Girl, Greeter Man, the bottle room kings, bus drivers,  the Optimum dipshits, and all the Chad Millers we have yet to meet,  -- we'll take a pass. We'd rather have zero friends than deal with any more of their drama. 

But Deb Johnson looks nice and safe. Why don't you write her? I suggested to Pete. Contact her on social media, send her the link to this post, and ask her: will YOU be our friend? 

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